Contact:

howard@howardwitt.com
Humor
What's in a name?
This is a story about me. Well, not about me exactly. It's more about a bunch of people who go around claiming to be me. This is a story, in other words, about the handful of men across the country who share the name Howard Witt.

The cold, hard facts on cryonics
Achieving immortality, it turns out, is not going to be easy. But that's no discouragement to the true believers in cryonics, the study of freezing freshly deceased bodies so that they might one day be revived and treated for whatever caused them to perish.

Flying Afghan Airlines
The last passenger loaded on board Ariana Afghan Airlines Flight 956 was stretched out in a coffin. This was a fortunate thing for the dead man or woman.

Lenin's preservers in a real pickle
Times are not so good in the dictator-preservation business. What with democracy rearing its inconvenient head in many formerly communist countries, a lot of the old clients of Moscow's Research Institute on Biological Structures -- the folks who keep Vladimir Lenin looking perpetually calm -- are, well, going under. And new commissions are not exactly flooding in.

"As best I can tell, there currently are about 59 Americans, out of a population of more than 300 million, whose parents decided, out of the infinite universe of possible name combinations, to call us Howard Witt. Howard Witts come in all shapes and sizes. Most of us are Christian, and some of us are Catholic; a few are Jewish. There are white Howard Witts and black Howard Witts. We are registered as Democrats, Republicans and Independents. We are spread across 26 states."